Ford and GM hope to avoid Chapter 11 by introducting two new models,
and pining their Corporate futures on them.
GM says that its new model, a six wheel drive 9800 lbs SUV is just what
the Elmer Fudds of this great Country are asking for. The new SUV will
be powered by a world class Vortec 789 cubic inch Supercharged X 24
cylinder Engine. The engine will produce 875 hp and use a new 6 speed
automatic transmission. The new SUV is a 4 passinger 4 door setting on
new 295/40 x 32 wheels and will be built by the Cadilac Divison.
Cadilac will be calling their new SUV, the Yokon King - Super Prairie
Express Crusier. The SUV has a very respectful EPA fuel rating of 5
city and 7 hyway and has suggested base price of $102,987.31.
Ford has countered with a new SUV being built by its Lincoln Division,
and will be called the Blitzkrieg Estate Galleon. It is slightly
smaller, wieghing in at 8600 lbs and is a double decker 6 passenger 4
wheel drive, powered by a 840 cubic inch Power Stroke V 16 Engine
producing 765 hp. It will use a highly refine 7 speed automatic
transmission, and setting on 295/50 x 30 wheels. An optional Half Track
version is also avalable for an addictional $28,000.00. Because it is
smaller than the Yokon King, its EPA rating is better at 7 city and 9
hyway and has suggested base price of $93,789. 00.
President Bush was so taken with the Blitzkrieg that he will be taking
ownership of the frist one built with the half track option. He claims
it will be perfect for climbing the large piles of horse shit on his
way to the horse barn to ride his favorite horse "Kenny Boy". The
horse was named after his best friend and finacial adviser Ken Lay.
Governer Arnold Schwarzenegger has ordered two of the Yokon Kings, one
for himself and one for his Wife. He say its the first SUV he has
gotten in to where both he and his ego are comfortable. No girlyboy
SUV's for me he said, only the biggest and best. With all that cargo
room, he can throw in a couple extra cases of steroids when he goes
Prairie Dog huntting in Kanses. The little Misses says she will feel
alot safer with her new Yokon King, when she is dodging the parked cars
and speed bumps at the local Wal Mart parking lot
The US Army has express an intrest in the Blitzkrieg half track versio
to replace its aging Hummv's. They claim the track version will perform
in the desert sands a lot better then the wheel version. Rumsfelt said
that it is patterned after a WW II Nazi track Vehicle. He went on to
say "those Naiz's got it right in more ways then one". President Bush,
quotating his Defense Secatary said "with new Blitzkieg we will be able
to track down Osama Ben Forgotten". Hay I made a joke Bush said, "track
down" get it, eh eh eh eh eh.
Both Ford and GM have stated that they feel they have hit a home run
with these new SUVs. A GM manager was over heard saying that American
Elmer Fudd buyers are always looking for a newer and better way of
keeping their familys safe from foreign aggression. Both SUV's have
door pockets for storing a AK 47 or M 16 when used for hutting. He went
on to say that if these SUVs fail it will be the Uion's fault.
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