Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Spot" I made the mistake of
calling mine "Sex".
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to
renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex.
He said, "I'd like to have one too!" Then I said, "But this is for a
dog." He said, "I don't care what she looks like." Then I said, "You
don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said, "You
must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. Not
wanting the dog to bother us, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for
my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the
place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at
night." The clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a dog show, before the competition began,
Another contestant asked me what I was doing. I told him that I planned
to have Sex in the show. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.
When I asked if the show was televised he called me a pervert.
I left my dog at the Veterinarian. When I went to pick him up I said,
"I've come for my dog." She said, "Which one, Spot or Rover?" I said,
"What about Sex?" She slapped me. After I straightened out the
misunderstanding, I asked if Sex was good for her. She slapped me again.
Sex ran away, I went to the dog pound. As I was looking in all the cages
the operator up to me. I said I'm looking for Sex. He said I was looking
in all the wrong places.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." He said,
"What's your point, so did I." I said, "But my wife wants to take Sex
away." He said, "That's what happens in a divorce."
Last night Sex ran off. I spent hours looking for him all over town. A
cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4
o'clock in the morning?" I said I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up Friday.
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