From the poisonous pen of Saint John Trubee:
I remember when I was a kid having teachers who spent most of
their time scolding us--especially when the scolding was
unwarranted and obnoxiously overbearing.
I remember 2 bitches in particular--Mrs. Jones, my 4th grade
teacher at Johnson Park School, and my 5th grade teacher
Miss Mathers at John Witherspoon School in Princeton,
New Jersey. They'd stand at the head of the class throughout
the school year hectoring us and telling us what little brats
we were. A couple of girls might be whispering at the back
of the classroom, Miss Mathers would see them, and in turn
spend the next half hour hectoring the shit out of the whole
classroom.
One time our gym teacher, Mr. Plummer, had to receive medical
attention and take some time off work for a back problem.
Asshole Millie Mathers told us that it was our fault, that we were
so demanding and ungrateful that we broke Mr. Plummer's back.
As kids we had to just sit there and listen to this shit,
uncomprehending and innocent of what she was bitching about. As a child
I remember being regularly hectored by adults. It felt like I was
repeatedly mauled by tigers and was powerless to stop it.
Many people who become teachers have no business having
children under their charge. This tenor of adults, in the public
school classrooms and elsewhere, hectoring and screaming at and scolding
children, led me to loathe the adult world and vow to never become
one if them, not unlike the alienated protagonist of Gunther Grass'
'The Tin Drum'.
The echoes of hectoring scolds still fill my ears today, and I
still perceive human relations as struggles for dominance
and control, typified by how most adults badger children. My
solution to this tiresome, exhausting, timewasting, obstructionist,
enervating dominance by other people is to stay the hell away from
them as much as possible.
I thought that as time progressed--as people became more
intelligent and experienced and enlightened and tolerant--that the
obnoxious, scolding bitches would be weeded out and eliminated
from humanity as their overt assholism is recognized, exposed,
and expunged from the human dungheap. I have sadly discovered
that this is not the case. People do not become more intelligent
over time. People are idiots.
Which brings me to Dr. Laura. Those tiresome, hectoring bitches
still thrive today because so many people just LOVE to bully
others with their damnedable rules. To them, Dr. Laura is their patron
saint. I love it when stupid people, mostly women, unfortunately,
call up Dr. Laura proudly stating "I am my kid's mom", explain
their family problem or situation, then have Dr. Laura rip them a new
asshole on air on the radio, telling them how greedy, selfish,
evil, or stupid they are for not submitting to her dictates and ethics.
If someone stupidly wanders into the tiger cage, then they
rightfully deserve to be mauled by the tiger.
I enjoy listening to Dr. Laura with the same delighted sense of
relief as one who has been repeatedly mauled by tigers delights
in using a stick to taunt the tiger locked behind bars. Dr. Laura
is on the radio, I hear her voice as vibrations from the cones
of my stereo loudspeakers moving as the result of distant radio
waves. The bitch can't hurt me, she can't dominate me, she can't
control my life, her blathering rules are just so many impotent
and noxious gaseous emissions.
Now do you understand why we must destroy the obnoxious, bitchy
rulemongers?
Now do you understand why we must escape to sunny, summer
countryside hilltops and let the hectoring rulemongers shit on
their stupid adult victims in the torture chambers down below?
NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
--
HellPope Huey
I wanted to be a Picasso
but looked much more like Chagall
and the final result was Jack Kirby al dente
now my head holds a place on the wall
The supreme accomplishment
is to blur the line between work and play.
~ Arnold Joseph Toynbee
"Its always fun until someone loses a torso."
~ Rev. Phineas Narco
http://www.beat-factory.net/hellpope/
http://www.modemac.com/wiki
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