This is me cleaning up my desk. I've been meaning to do it for months so
I can put my tax return in, it's a bit late for that now so I'll get a
fine and probably an audit but I don't care, entropy is like order except
you need no forward planning. I can't believe what a pig I've become.
People give me things and I just pile them up on my desk. What are you
supposed to do with a broken swiss army knife? A packet of French gum
'sans sucre'? Seventeen towers of 5c and 10c pieces?
Star****ne is huddled over the desk behind me, dissecting insects in
lamplight and gluing them back together in hideous combinations. She
keeps saying things like 'woops! I lost a feeler' of 'damn I broke her
wing'. Each time I hear her scalpel hit the cutting board I cringe, and
the whole room smells of napthalene. Last week she spent $370 on the
damn things and wonders why she's poor. She wants to know how to get a
weevil off the board without breaking it's foot. They're the size of damn
cockroaches and come in assorted colours - I thought weevils were tiny
things that lived in the flour jar? They come from south america and
you're not supposed to open the cases so now we've probably got anthrax
or malaria or worse. She buys them in glass cases - I keep telling her
she should be buying them wholesale, just get some Paraguain to send her
a jarful of assorted bugs for ten bucks, probably a month's wages for
them.
She is so stupid. She keeps telling me she's a super genius and then
comes out with ridiculous statements like "I love you". Last week she
tried to tell me that 2 slices of Cape Seed Loaf give her all her daily
fibre requirments (she eats like a somalian), which was just too easy to
google and when I showed her that actually, they say 4 slices gives you
25%, she just wiggled her nose. I don't know why she does that.
I've got ****ing nothing done today. There's too much **** here, I can't
deal with it. I'm going to take my xanax and try to give Frankenstein
here an orgasm before I fall asleep, so tomorrow I can procrastinate
again.
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