getting to the point I'm no fun anymore

I did not make it to check out anima woman's new T group. At 6:00 last
night I decided I would rather work out in my living room than drive
across town. For all I know the poontang quotient there was 10 to 1
and I missed it.

And I read some more of Theodore Reik's "masochism in modern man". He
makes much of a theory I have seen elsewhere. It has to do with
rewards in self-defeating behavior; it is simplistic but I am sure it
explains some things. The way it works is we all have this little man
in our heads which dates back to age 3 or 4 who knows that life sucks
and things are all terribly unfair. The little man gets a thrill from
sabotaging us, because this confirms its massive intellect and
understanding regarding the TRUE FACTs of life. The idea that we have
to cope with uncertainties and probablilities and that it improves our
chances at success to presume we will win is a concept which is more
sophisticated than the the little man in our head can get. So
outsmarting him can be a real challenge. You have to talk to him like
a 3 year-old "let's pretend things might work out this time if we get
lucky". In my experience sometimes this works but when it doesn't the
little man can totally freak out and that is not pleasant be
forewarned.

In reviewing my notes on the TANTRIC *** manual I was reminded of
Irving Yalom's re****t on the number one fallacy of group
psychotherapy, that big rewards require big risks. He says this
practice of having the patients beat pillows with cricket bats is
almost always counterproductive. The therapists learn to do that
because it puts on a good show, keeps everybody alert, and encourages
them to come back (and pay) next week to see what is going to happen
next. The usual result though is traumatizing people all over again
and they need more therapy than when they started making quite the
vicious circle. It's the same way with the *** gurus. I'm all for
experimenting but the biological function is pretty simple and if you
aren't bored with it there isn't that much more you are going to be
able to do, I don't care if your name is sri rama rama babaloo.
Normally the problem isn't your technique is crude but your partner is
a hateful human.

This post replaces all *** therapists.

Last night walking across the office park I saw a raccoon. It wouldn't
let me get close enough to see if it was a boy or a girl. It was
little, probably not full grown. I have seen a couple here who must
have weighed 90 pounds but this one couldn't have been more than 20.
Godless Europeans may do the conversion to kilograms on their own.

Bukvich