I can't pity you death fanatics. Death is cheap. Anyone can see that
the world is purgatory and run by the Devil. That takes no insight --
even my husband admits as much.
But I've built my own world in the middle of this one, and mine is
better. And it's real -- I've sacrificed and made it real. Death isn't
a real sacrifice -- life is. It's easy to love death and hard to love
life. Life is poverty and pain, and the presence of fear is the
presence of god. Heaven is here with us, the same as hell, and it's
hard to tell them apart.
I've made something real. That doesn't make me right, but it makes me
real. I'm not taking Pascal's wager. God probably is exactly what
Moggin says he is. But I'm alive and I love, and I am loved, and it
matters.
"you think that I don't even mean a single word I say
it's only words, and words are all I have to take your heart away."


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