John McCain is the New Manchurian Candidate
My tenth-cousin, Republican Ann Coulter, committed a great political
blunder when she asked "Is Obama a Manchurian candidate".
This was a real boo-boo because the obvious Manchurian candidate in
this election is John McCain.
The book and two movies entitled "The Manchurian Candidate" are about
an American military officer in the Korean War who is captured by the
North Koreans and turned over to Chinese doctors who brainwash him. He
is then returned to the American lines with a false implanted story in
his memory which makes him a war hero. He then becomes a candidate for
President of the United States.
Whom does this resemble? Obviously, John McCain, who was a prisoner of
the North Vietnamese for five years, who attempted to brainwash him
before turning him over to the Americans and who has become a
candidate for President of the United States.
Now that that is settled, the next step which I have undertaken is to
do the third movie version of The Manchurian Candidate.
Fortunately, with the wonders of modern computer graphics, it is no
longer necessary to hire live actors. I will just fill the roles with
the actors we already have.
I am now holding a casting couch. (I always wanted to do this.)
Beautiful girls are invited to audition for the applicable roles.
The first two roles are obvious:
John McCain will play Sergeant Raymond Shaw
Hillary Clinton will plan Eleanor Shaw. (The actress who played
Eleanor in the second movie version has stated that she studied and
imitated the real Hillary Clinton in playing this role.)
Now, I have only to fill the other major roles.
Barak Obama seems right for Major Ben Marco
John Kerry will do for Senator Thomas Jordan
The other major roles that will need to be filled are:
Jocelyn Jordan, the beautiful and fetching daughter of Senator Thomas
Jordan.
The evil doctor who is Chinese, Dr. Yen Lo, in the original version
and Russian, Noyle, in the remake.
Chinjin, the double agent who betrays them is Korean in the original
but British in the remake.
Al Melvin, the other veteran who has similar dreams which confirm the
suspicions of Major Marco.
The Janet Leigh character does not exist in the remake. It has been
suggested that she is a Communist double agent, especially since she
makes it extremely easy for Major Ben Marco to seduce her. She
actually approaches and seduces him.
Any suggestions for these or any other roles would be appreciated.
Fame and glory await you!
Sam Sloan
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