THINGS THAT GO BUMP
Virtually everyone has experienced the phenomenon of things that go bump
in the
night. Our own editress, many years ago, even wrote a poem on the subject
and
entitled it rather nattily 'Things that go bump in the night'. This piece
of
literature is now hopefully lost to us but even so, there is still a body
of
evidence and considerable research relating to this subject.
It is said that things go bump in the night and scientists have told us
that in
fact, things go bump all the time but because our environment is usually
quieter
at night, and because our hearing is at its best at 0200 hours
(apparently),
things are heard to go bump at that time only.
On the face of it, that is a plausible enough explanation, except for one
thing.
Sundays! Often, this is a quiet enough day and in the summer time, Sunday
afternoons are sometimes so quiet that you can almost hear the grass
growing.
The question which now arises is 'Do things go bump on Sunday
afternoons?'. This
is a good question.
Another good question usually ignored by scientists is 'What was it that
went
bump?'. One could add to that 'Why did it go bump anyway?'.
We are getting ahead of ourselves here. The first point to be clarified is
'When
do things go bump?'. We can consider the 'what' and the 'why' later. We
must
also limit our consideration to UTTGBs or 'Unidentified Things That Go
Bump'. By
this means, we eradicate the sounds made by the plumbing, the heating
system,
floorboards and stairs etc, which will gurgle, click, creak and groan but
which
seldom if ever go bump.
If we are to get to the truth here, it beseems all of us to maintain a log
of
UTTGBs. We should note the date, give a brief description and, most
im****tantly,
note the time of the incident using the twenty-four hour clock. The matter
of
the acuity of our hearing is probably a coloured fish; in this writer's
experience, many UTTGBs are so loud even the dead could hear them.
Readers might like to write into this magazine, detailing their
experiences, in
time for next month's issue. This would enable us to carry this
fascinating
research on to its ultimate conclusion. Keep listening.
©1996.
--
Blue Sow
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