They walk among us. However, they’re not like us. They may as well be aliens blending with society by observing and imitating how “normal” people behave. They strive to sneak in below the radar of discernment to slither into your life. They are sociopaths. They have a chilling lack of empathy that leaves one dumbfounded when witnessed. They leave wreckage and destruction behind them everywhere they go. As you can imagine, trying to leave one of these human-like beings is quite a challenge. What they do is abuse. Every word, every action, every passive-aggressive bout of manipulative silence IS abuse. Their ego depends on how nicely you reflect off them, as though you were clothing they are wearing. By leaving them, you’re literally ripping out their core, all that makes them feel whole and complete; they literally feel naked because they do not know who they are without “wearing” someone. Things can get dangerous at this point. They can be unpredictable, so keep records, investigate resources, distance yourself, communicate via email only. Get counseling to focus YOU again. You lost yourself when they removed who you are, in order to make you about who THEY are. Finally, create a plan of exit with your counselor and stick to it like your life depends on it. It just might.
Another difficult type of personality is Borderline Personality Disorder. You would know if you’ve ever dealt with one. Their ups and downs, rage and sudden calm, blurring of boundaries, paranoia, exhaustive clinginess and constant defensiveness leave little doubt you have encountered a borderline personality. They see through black-and-white lenses a world in which the rest of us see color. People are either for them or against them. And if they feel slighted, they won’t let it go quietly. You will hear them, and you will acknowledge them, or else. It is as though their flight-or-fight mechanism has been short-circuited. In fact, research suggests that may be exactly what’s happening. Studies show that most people suffering from this ailment have lived through severe child-hood trauma. Some experts even suggest that the nonsensical mechanisms used are just that: defense “mechanisms” in response to fear. They’re erratic and unpredictable, often threatening suicide or self-harm. It is vital that they receive help and understanding from professionals, family and friends. Please remember that they are sick with an illness for which patience and time is the key.
Whether you’re suffering from a personality disorder or your life is revolving around someone who is, Talkspace is a safe place for help. Its anonymous, professional, and comprehensive. Many find it a comfortable alternative to in-person counseling; they are soothed by receiving help on their own couch, in their own home. Talkspace has even made their affordable service compatible with chat, video, or audio messaging, whichever you prefer. Though it isn’t covered by insurance, many pay up front and turn it into their medical expense accounts to help with costs. In addition, the site thoroughly trains and vets each licensed therapist and verifies all credentials.
With all the chaos you’re dealing with, give the professionals at Talkspace a chance to be the calm oasis you need at this time. Allow them to guide you to a place of mental clarity and peace-of-mind where things finally begin to make sense.